A death clock with good manners

Don’t worry, it’s a rough estimate. Unlike your death.

Pieter Claesz, Still Life with a Skull and a Writing Quill, 1628. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, public domain.

What you’re in for

Six ways to count the same thing. Each one slightly worse.

Here’s how it looks for someone born in 1990.

Then every week of your life on one grid. Small, isn’t it? Take up more room.

Count mine

How it works

Three steps. One of them optional.

It takes about ten seconds, which is a small price, all things considered.

  1. Type your birthday

    Day, month, year and where you live. None of it leaves this page.

  2. Get one number

    In a unit you can feel, with a line to make it bearable.

  3. Make it worse

    A few more ways to count. Then we stop you, politely.

About

Questions people ask. Calmly.

Is this accurate?

It’s a statistical average, not a prophecy. No psychic, no algorithm, no crystal skull. Just a table of numbers and some light rudeness.

Where do the numbers come from?

The UN World Population Prospects 2024: the period life table for 2023, by country, for men and women combined. We take the years someone your age can expect on average, then count them in days, weekends, Julys and full moons.

Full moons use the average lunar month of 29.53 days. A period table assumes today’s death rates stay as they are. They usually improve, so treat the figure as a slightly pessimistic average.

Do you keep my birthday?

Your birthday stays in your browser. We don’t want it. We have enough to think about.

Everything is worked out on your device. Nothing you type is sent anywhere or stored by us.

Why would anyone want this?

Memento mori: remember you’ll die. Memento vivere: remember to text back.